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What part of your eye learns the quickest?

The pupil.

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Education

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Pointless.

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Current Events

Why do potted plants shower so much in April?

Because April showers bring May flowers.

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Puns

What's another name for your iPhone charger?

Apple juice.

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Animals

What dog wears contact lenses?

A cock-eyed spaniel.

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Puns

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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Animals

Where do ants go to eat?

At a restaurant.

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Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.

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Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

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Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

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Coached Bank?Sports

Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back!!!

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Music

What musical instrument is the best typist?

A keyboard.

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Entertainment

What do you call a musical about a boy who loses his shoe?

Cinderfella.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Euripides things, you buy them!

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a soccer ball goes into the goal netSports

Why was the soccer player so good at keeping her house clean?

She was a sweeper.

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Animals

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw.

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Holiday

Where do sports go on a Valentine's Day date?

The ball-et.

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