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What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?
The letter "E".
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Professional
Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?
It had been running all day and night.
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Entertainment
What do you call fowl that fly into windows?
Angry birds.
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Animals
What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A hot dog.
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Animals
What's black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door.
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Current Events
You have to be very careful in an ice storm.
It's sNOw joke.
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Puns
Why should you stand in a corner if you're cold?
They're usually 90 degrees.
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Puns
Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs.
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Animals
What do you call a pig's sore eye?
A pig-stye.
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Animals
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
That hit the spots.
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Education
Why shouldn't you trust atoms?
They make up everything!
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Professional
How do lawyers say goodbye?
We'll be suing ya!
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Education
Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?
A lie-brary.
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Animals
Where do frogs keep their money?
In a river bank.
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Puns
What do you call the wife of a hippie?
A Mississippi.
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Puns
Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?
They harbor resentment.
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Animals
Why are frogs always happy?
They eat what bugs them.
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