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What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

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Holiday

What do you call Santa's Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

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Entertainment

Why are ET's eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill.

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Science

Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

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Animals

What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot.

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a kitten is leaning back in a sitting position with a surprised expressionPuns

What do cats use to take notes in meetings?

A scratch pad.

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Puns

What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?

A bullfrog.

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Puns

Which state is the cleanest?

Washing-ton.

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Holiday

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

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Puns

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

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Animals

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes.

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three people wearing business casual clothes are also wearing red masks and capes, posing like superheroesPuns

Where do superheroes blend right in?

Cape Canaveral.

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Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

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Education

Why did the professor write on the window?

She wanted the lesson to be clear.

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Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

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Holiday

What day is your mom always right?

Every day.

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