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What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

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Education

What type of school requires you to drop out to graduate?

Sky diving school.

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Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

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Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

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Puns

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?

He was de-lighted.

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Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

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Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

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Food & Drinks

Why was the dairy grumpy?

It was sour cream.

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Puns

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

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five light-colored ferrets are lined up on a white backgroundFamily

Why do baby ferrets never get in trouble?

Because they can weasel their way out of anything.

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People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

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hide and seek?Animals

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

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Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

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Puns

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

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Professional

What do cats wear to work?

Kitten heels.

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Retired veggies?Food & Drinks

What do you call a retired vegetable?

A has-bean.

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