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What lives in the ocean, is grouchy, and hates neighbors?

A hermit crab.

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Education

What type of school requires you to drop out to graduate?

Sky diving school.

Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Puns

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?

He was de-lighted.

Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

Food & Drinks

Why was the dairy grumpy?

It was sour cream.

Puns

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line.

Food & Drinks

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

five light-colored ferrets are lined up on a white backgroundFamily

Why do baby ferrets never get in trouble?

Because they can weasel their way out of anything.

People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

hide and seek?Animals

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

Puns

Why did the foal cough?

Because he was a little horse.

Professional

What do cats wear to work?

Kitten heels.

Retired veggies?Food & Drinks

What do you call a retired vegetable?

A has-bean.