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What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

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Travel

Which celebrity loves to go on vacation?

Tom Cruise.

Sports

How does cardboard get its workout in?

Boxing.

Animals

What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware wolf.

Food & Drinks

What did the French chef say when he made a mistake?

Oh crepe!

Puns

Why was the picture sent to jail?

It was framed.

People

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

The Exterminator.

Science

How does the moon cut her hair?

Eclipse it.

Education

Where do you go when you need an excuse to get out of something?

A lie-brary.

Current Events

What's a direction's favorite holiday?

East-er.

Entertainment

Who is a pig's favorite Star Wars character?

Ham Solo.

Puns

Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?

Sure, but then they makeup.

Education

What do librarians use as bait when they go fishing?

Book worms.

Animals

What is another name for a cow?

A lawn-mooer.

Outdoors

Why did the lawn mower get kicked off the team?

He couldn't make the cut.

Holiday

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents?

Santa Paws.

Vehicles

Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?

They'll only drive a sports car.