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What kind of tree can you hold in one hand?

A palm tree.

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Professional

Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

He had an amazing set of pipes.

Animals

What kind of bees hum and drop things?

A fumble bee.

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

Vehicles

What has ten letters and starts with G-A-S?

Automobile.

Puns

Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink'?

Because he kept running out of the pen.

Animals

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied.

Food & Drinks

Why are bakers paid so much money?

They make the big dough.

Animals

What goes zzub, zzub?

A bee flying backward.

Sports

Did you ever hear the joke about a boomerang?

I don't remember it, but it'll come back to me.

Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

Sports

What position does lemonade play in baseball?

Pitcher.

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

Outdoors

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.