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What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A bloodhound.

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Sports

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?

The bored room.

Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

negative numbers?Science

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

Outdoors

What's the ocean's favorite song?

Surfin' USA.

Puns

What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?

You will be mist.

Vehicles

What do you get when you put a car and a dog together?

A carpet.

a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.

Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

Education

What's 90 degrees and never incorrect?

A right triangle.

Puns

Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?

I turned myself around.

Family

What do you call an orchard full of relatives?

Family trees.

Puns

How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?

By its bark.