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What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A bloodhound.

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Sports

Where do football directors go when they are fed up?

The bored room.

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Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

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negative numbers?Science

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

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Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

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Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

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Sports

When fish play football, who is the captain?

The team's kipper.

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Outdoors

What's the ocean's favorite song?

Surfin' USA.

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Puns

What did the obituary say for the pot of boiling water?

You will be mist.

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Vehicles

What do you get when you put a car and a dog together?

A carpet.

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a white and tan spotted pony appears to smile at the cameraAnimals

Why couldn't the pony speak at the convention?

It was too hoarse.

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Animals

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Education

What's 90 degrees and never incorrect?

A right triangle.

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Puns

Why am I no longer addicted to the hokey pokey?

I turned myself around.

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Family

What do you call an orchard full of relatives?

Family trees.

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Puns

How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?

By its bark.

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