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What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bull dog.

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Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.

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Science

Why did the aerospace engineer have a hard time passing English?

Because it's not rocket science.

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Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

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Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

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Animals

How do you spot a modern spider?

He has a website.

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a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

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Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

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Puns

When should you start writing a book?

When you have a novel idea.

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Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

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Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

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Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

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Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

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an actor stands on a lit stage with a script in his outstretched hands with his head tilted backProfessional

Why did the actor jump into the orchestra pit?

Because the director told them to break a leg.

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Animals

What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?

An aunt-eater.

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Holiday

What does winter fat turn into?

Spring rolls.

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a close-up of a colorful, tropical ParrotfishPuns

What do naked fish play with?

Bare-a-cudas.

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