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What kind of dog chases anything red?

A bull dog.

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Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.

Science

Why did the aerospace engineer have a hard time passing English?

Because it's not rocket science.

Food & Drinks

How long will dinner be?

About a foot and a half.

Animals

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer.

Animals

How do you spot a modern spider?

He has a website.

a major highway in Shanghai, China lit up at nightVehicles

What are the smartest highways in the world?

Roads scholars.

Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

Puns

When should you start writing a book?

When you have a novel idea.

Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

Current Events

What do you get when two plants kiss?

Tulips!

Outdoors

What do you call a BBQ by the pool?

A swim meat.

Puns

How does a single horse RSVP to a party?

They're going stag.

an actor stands on a lit stage with a script in his outstretched hands with his head tilted backProfessional

Why did the actor jump into the orchestra pit?

Because the director told them to break a leg.

Animals

What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?

An aunt-eater.

Holiday

What does winter fat turn into?

Spring rolls.

a close-up of a colorful, tropical ParrotfishPuns

What do naked fish play with?

Bare-a-cudas.