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What kind of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
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Animals
What does a lion call an antelope?
Fast food.
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Science
Why did the aerospace engineer have a hard time passing English?
Because it's not rocket science.
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Food & Drinks
How long will dinner be?
About a foot and a half.
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Animals
Why didn't the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer.
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Animals
How do you spot a modern spider?
He has a website.
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Vehicles
What are the smartest highways in the world?
Roads scholars.
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Travel
What are rental cars called in Spain?
Barceloaners.
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Puns
When should you start writing a book?
When you have a novel idea.
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Puns
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
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Current Events
What do you get when two plants kiss?
Tulips!
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Outdoors
What do you call a BBQ by the pool?
A swim meat.
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Puns
How does a single horse RSVP to a party?
They're going stag.
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Professional
Why did the actor jump into the orchestra pit?
Because the director told them to break a leg.
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Animals
What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister?
An aunt-eater.
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Holiday
What does winter fat turn into?
Spring rolls.
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Puns
What do naked fish play with?
Bare-a-cudas.
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