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What kind of books do boats write?
Ferry tales.
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Sports
What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.
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Entertainment
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
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Holiday
What do birds serve on Halloween?
Tweets.
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Animals
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
A herring aid.
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Food & Drinks
What state is famous for tiny soft drinks?
Minnesota.
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Puns
Why was the pirate late for work?
His ship had sailed.
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Food & Drinks
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it.
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Animals
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
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Animals
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
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Education
What color are all the books in the library?
Red.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.
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Animals
What do you say to the tree frog who needs a lift?
Hop in.
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Puns
Why should you be worried about the calendar?
Its days are numbered.
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Animals
What's a snake's strongest subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
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Puns
Why are dentist's kids so well-mannered?
Because getting a kid to behave is like pulling teeth.
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Science
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
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