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What kind of bird can write?

A PENguin.

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Entertainment

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

In dayscare.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

People

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?

Maggot Thatcher.

Animals

Where does the stingray's husband hang out?

In his man-ta cave.

Current Events

You have to be very careful in an ice storm.

It's sNOw joke.

Puns

How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?

By its bark.

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

a close-up of a large brown bat hanging upside downSports

What type of bat doesn't fly?

A baseball bat.

Animals

What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?

He kicked the bucket.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Sports

What's a decade's favorite sport?

Tennis.

Puns

Why did the map not want to be weighed?

It wasn't to scale.

People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

Education

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Sports

Did you hear the joke about the football game with the 0-0 score?

Never mind, it's pointless.