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What is the only kind of dog you can eat?

A hot dog.

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Switzerland a plus?Puns

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but its flag is a big plus.

Animals

What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

Sports

What is a cat's favorite part of baseball?

The seventh-inning stretch.

Family

What do moms say is bad for both family trips and sleeping?

A wet blanket.

Puns

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

Puns

Why was the robot so sleepy after her road trip?

She had a hard drive.

Puns

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

Animals

What's a frog's favorite drink on a hot summer day?

An ice-cold croak-a-cola.

Surprised makeup?Family

Surprise!!!!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

People

Which celebrity loves to read?

Elliot Page.

Holiday

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?

Santa pause.

Professional

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Friday afternoon.

Animals

What dog loves to take bubble baths?

A shampoodle.

Food & Drinks

What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemon-aid!

Animals

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant!