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What is the most attractive fruit?

A fine-apple.

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Puns

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

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Music

What's a chiropractor's favorite genre of music?

Hip pop.

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Animals

Where do baby apes sleep?

In apricots.

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Puns

What did the adding machine say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

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Animals

What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?

Just put it on my bill.

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Entertainment

What part did the grizzly have in the choir?

He was the lead bear-itone.

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Animals

Where do you take sick ponies?

To the horsepital.

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Puns

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

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Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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Professional

Why couldn't the firefighter save the burning funhouse?

It was all smoke and mirrors.

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Puns

Why should you be worried about the calendar?

Its days are numbered.

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Puns

What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?

Lumpy milkshakes.

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Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

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Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

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Puns

What is the opposite of cock-a-doodle-doo?

Cock-a-doodle-don't.

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Puns

Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

He really thought he could socket to him.

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