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What is the most attractive fruit?
A fine-apple.
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Puns
What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him?
I didn't do it on porpoise.
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Music
What's a chiropractor's favorite genre of music?
Hip pop.
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Animals
Where do baby apes sleep?
In apricots.
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Puns
What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
You can count on me.
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Animals
What did the duck say as he was buying chapstick?
Just put it on my bill.
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Entertainment
What part did the grizzly have in the choir?
He was the lead bear-itone.
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Animals
Where do you take sick ponies?
To the horsepital.
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Puns
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
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Animals
What do you call the pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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Professional
Why couldn't the firefighter save the burning funhouse?
It was all smoke and mirrors.
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Puns
Why should you be worried about the calendar?
Its days are numbered.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Lumpy milkshakes.
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Puns
Why did the lizard go on a diet?
It weighed too much for its scales.
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Food & Drinks
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
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Puns
What is the opposite of cock-a-doodle-doo?
Cock-a-doodle-don't.
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Puns
Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?
He really thought he could socket to him.
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