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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

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Animals

What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

Outdoors

Where do logs like to go on hikes?

The woods.

Animals

Where's the best place for baby chickens to be born?

In a hatch-back.

Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

Animals

What's the main rule in zebra baseball?

Three stripes and you're out!

Puns

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales.

Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

People

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

Education

What color are all the books in the library?

Red.

Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

Puns

What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?

Animals

What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.