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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator.

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Animals

What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

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Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

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Animals

Which insect is the smartest?

The spelling bee.

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Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

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Outdoors

Where do logs like to go on hikes?

The woods.

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Animals

Where's the best place for baby chickens to be born?

In a hatch-back.

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Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

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Animals

What's the main rule in zebra baseball?

Three stripes and you're out!

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Puns

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Because it has its own scales.

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Astronaut's baby?Science

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket.

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People

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

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Education

What color are all the books in the library?

Red.

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Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

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Puns

What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?

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Animals

What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

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Puns

What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

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