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What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?

Put them in a barking lot.

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Professional

What did the NSA employee say when her friend tried to tell her a new joke?

Heard it.

Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

Puns

What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis.

Puns

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Outdoors

I can cut down a tree only using my vision...

I saw it with my own eyes.

Sports

What runs around a baseball field but stays still at the same time?

A fence.

Animals

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

An octopuss.

People

What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?

That someone had stolen his tent.

Animals

Why did the doctor let his dog help with his patients?

Because he had a lab coat.

Animals

What kind of store would a dog own?

A licker store.

People

Which celebrity always frowns?

Simon Scowl.

Puns

Why did the sparrow go to the library?

It was looking for bookworms.

Holiday

How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?

Stacks.

Vehicles

What car can you only see twice a year?

A Chevy Equinox.

The Baseball?Sports

Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

Forget it. It's way over your head.

two Mallard ducks are flying side-by-sidePuns

What birds always travel in twos?

Pair-rots.