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What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line.

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Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.

Animals

What is another name for a cow?

A lawn-mooer.

a yellow duckling stands on top of open books on a deskAnimals

What do you call a waterfowl that reads Herman Melville?

Moby-Duck.

People

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

Sports

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music.

Puns

How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

Sports

Why did the crocodile run his mile so fast?

He had Gatorade.

Music

What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

a close-up of a colorful, tropical ParrotfishPuns

What do naked fish play with?

Bare-a-cudas.

a gray horse has several balloons tied around its neckAnimals

Why was the horse so bad at dressage?

He was a one-trick pony.

Puns

How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?

By its bark.

Puns

What do insects learn at school?

Mothmatics.

Puns

Why was the robot so sleepy after her road trip?

She had a hard drive.

Sports

What do two oxygen molecule friends call each other?

Air buds.

Political

Which bureau of the US government has the best breath?

The Mint.