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What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

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Sports

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

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Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

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singing rodent?Animals

What do you call a singing rodent?

Justin Beaver!

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many potato chips are spaced out on a blue surfaceAnimals

Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?

A chipmunk.

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a close-up of a Burrowing owl with its head turned sideways at the cameraAnimals

What bird is losing its hair?

A bald eagle.

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Professional

Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?

It had been running all day and night.

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Puns

What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?

Time to baguette.

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Puns

Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?

Because they'd crack each other up.

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Puns

How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.

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Puns

What is the opposite of cock-a-doodle-doo?

Cock-a-doodle-don't.

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Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!

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Manufacturing?Professional

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisFACTORY.

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a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

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Puns

What did the clean dog say to the insect?

Long time, no flea.

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Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?

A croaker spaniel.

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