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What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum-you can't beat it.
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Sports
Where do religious school children practice sports?
In the prayground!
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Animals
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
Jail-birds.
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Animals
What do you call a singing rodent?
Justin Beaver!
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Animals
Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?
A chipmunk.
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Animals
What bird is losing its hair?
A bald eagle.
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Professional
Why was the air compressor dripping with sweat?
It had been running all day and night.
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Puns
What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?
Time to baguette.
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Puns
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
Because they'd crack each other up.
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Puns
How do you get a country girl to like you?
A tractor.
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Puns
What is the opposite of cock-a-doodle-doo?
Cock-a-doodle-don't.
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Current Events
Why was the spring storm in a great mood?
It was on cloud nine!
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Professional
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisFACTORY.
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People
Who is the nicest celebrity around?
Tom Thanks.
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Puns
What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time, no flea.
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Education
Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?
E, because it's always in bed.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
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