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What is CO2's favorite pasta?

Spaghetti carbon-ara.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

He was the wurst on his team.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee calling fowls.

Vehicles

What kind of car does a chicken have?

A coop.

Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

Entertainment

What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his ice cream too fast?

Quit goblin your dessert.

Professional

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

Jaws.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

Animals

What's a lizard's favorite cookie?

A fig newt-on.

Animals

What animal has 20/20 vision?

A see-lion.

Puns

What dance was the most popular in 1776?

The indepen-dance.

Professional

How does NASA organize a company party?

They planet.

Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Puns

How are you liking that anti-gravity book?

It's impossible to put down!

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Food & Drinks

Why was the chip acting so goofy?

He was a cheese-ball.