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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite toy?

Lincoln Logs!

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Scrambled eggs?Food & Drinks

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up!

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Puns

How do fireflies start a race?

Ready, steady, glow.

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Holiday

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about the United States?

Because freedom rings.

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Political

Which office space loves to cut corners?

The Oval Office.

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Animals

What dinosaur would win the track gold medal at the Olympics?

The Prontosaurus.

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Puns

Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?

Because she was afraid someone would caesar.

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Puns

Why is money so stubborn?

It doesn't want to make change.

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Professional

Why did the person let a fish perform surgery on them?

He's a great sturgeon.

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Puns

I used to be addicted to not showering.

Luckily, I've been clean for five years.

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People

Who do camels find most inspiring?

The Dalai Llama.

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Food & Drinks

Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Well, I'm not going to spread it.

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Puns

What game do cows play at parties?

Moosical chairs.

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Puns

What kind of clothes does a house wear?

An address.

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Animals

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?

He called a tow truck.

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The Hand?Education

Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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a close-up of a microphone in front of a blurred audience in the backgroundAnimals

What British bugs are the best singers?

Beetles.

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