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What is a pig's favorite ballet?

Swine Lake.

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Animals

Why was the fish so smart?

It lived in a school.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower.

Holiday

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

Current Events

What's a storm cloud's favorite Garth Brooks song?

When the Thunder Rolls.

Professional

What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?

A tooth pic.

Puns

How do you take a pig to the hospital?

By hambulance.

Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

Holiday

What is the best Christmas present ever?

A broken drum-you can't beat it.

The Toothpaste?Music

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

Baseball armor?Sports

When should baseball players wear armor?

When they're playing knight games.

a group of people stands around a table displaying blueprints of some sortProfessional

Which CIA agent is the best baker?

The s-pie.

Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

a rhinoceros is running through a dusty savannah Animals

Why do rhinos charge?

Because they never carry cash.

Sports

What did the basketball player say when he lost his job?

Well, I guess I'll just power forward.

Puns

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

The letter "E".