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What is a condiment's favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo.

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Travel

Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?

The Wrong Brothers.

People

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

The Exterminator.

Entertainment

Why did the piano get locked out of the opera?

It forgot to change keys.

Sports

What did the policeman yell to the baseball that just robbed a bank?

Catcher!

Animals

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?

He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

a close-up of Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries® cerealPuns

Did you hear how Cap'n Crunch® died?

Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

Holiday

How many chimneys does Father Christmas go down?

Stacks.

Puns

What is a mouse's favorite game?

Hide and squeak.

Puns

My friend told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.

So I had to put my foot down!

Current Events

What day never takes itself seriously?

April Fool's Day.

Family

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

She sent her a pee-mail.

Puns

Why did the sparrow go to the library?

It was looking for bookworms.

Holiday

What is a condiment's favorite holiday?

Cinco de Mayo.

Animals

When is a black dog not a black dog?

When it's a greyhound.

a nervous-looking man wears a red cape and holds his goggles on top of his headEntertainment

Which superhero is afraid of exterminators?

Ant-man.