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What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?

You have a vowel movement.

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Animals

Why did the chick disappoint his mother?

He wasn't what he was cracked up to be.

Entertainment

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?

Ribbon hood.

Family

What do cubs eat when their mom is out of town?

Bluebeary Pop-Tarts.

two business people talking in front of a city office buildingPolitical

Why are bankers so good at American politics?

It's a system of checks and balances!

Puns

Which state has the best streets?

Rhode Island.

Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

Animals

What do you call the pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

Animals

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds.

Music

Why do hummingbirds hum instead of singing along to music?

Because they don't know the words yet.

Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

Sports

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?

One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

a painting of autumn trees hangs on a gray wallPolitical

Why did the painting win the presidential election?

It was good at canvassing.

Animals

What do you say if you meet a toad?

Wart's new?

Outdoors

Which plant has the best roar?

A dandelion.

Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.