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What goes zzub, zzub?

A bee flying backward.

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Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

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two tree swallows sit perched on a branch and chirp at each otherAnimals

What kind of bird makes the most important rules?

Cardinals.

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Puns

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

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Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

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a woman standing in front of an A/C unit has frost in her hairCurrent Events

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

Well, they've been running all day!

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Animals

Why do elephants have trunks?

Because they've no pockets to put things in.

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Animals

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?

He called a tow truck.

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Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

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Puns

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?

Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.

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a close-up of a person filling out a multiple-choice test card with an alarm clock sitting nearbyVehicles

Which vehicle did the best on its SATs?

The Smart Car.

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Animals

How does a squid go into battle?

Well-armed.

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two tree swallows sit perched on a branch and chirp at each otherAnimals

What kind of bird makes the most important rules?

Cardinals.

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Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

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Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

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two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

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a close-up of a large brown bat hanging upside downSports

What type of bat doesn't fly?

A baseball bat.

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