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What goes zzub, zzub?

A bee flying backward.

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Puns

What did the painter say to the wall?

One more crack and I'll plaster you.

two tree swallows sit perched on a branch and chirp at each otherAnimals

What kind of bird makes the most important rules?

Cardinals.

Puns

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

a woman standing in front of an A/C unit has frost in her hairCurrent Events

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

Well, they've been running all day!

Animals

Why do elephants have trunks?

Because they've no pockets to put things in.

Animals

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?

He called a tow truck.

Puns

What kind of pole is short and floppy?

A tadpole.

Puns

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?

Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.

a close-up of a person filling out a multiple-choice test card with an alarm clock sitting nearbyVehicles

Which vehicle did the best on its SATs?

The Smart Car.

Animals

How does a squid go into battle?

Well-armed.

two tree swallows sit perched on a branch and chirp at each otherAnimals

What kind of bird makes the most important rules?

Cardinals.

Puns

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.

Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

two auto mechanics are using a tablet while fixing an engineProfessional

People are so hard on car mechanics.

They can't catch a brake.

a close-up of a large brown bat hanging upside downSports

What type of bat doesn't fly?

A baseball bat.