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What games do ants play with elephants?

Squash.

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Puns

If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?

Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.

Puns

Why was the robot so sleepy after her road trip?

She had a hard drive.

Family

What did the stair machines call each other?

Stepsisters.

a close-up of the faces of three brown cowsAnimals

Where do cows go on the weekend?

The moo-vies.

Food & Drinks

What kind of water do fireworks like?

Sparkling.

a brown cow and a white cow stand together in a field at sunsetPuns

What is a plane full of male cows called?

A bull flight.

The cornfield?Outdoors

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

There are too many ears.

Vehicles

Why are Olympians so picky about their vehicles?

They'll only drive a sports car.

People

Why did the runner quit the race against bigfoot?

He couldn't face defeet!

a European mayor stands at a table in front of a crowdCurrent Events

Why did the mayor cancel his motorcade?

Because it rained on his parade.

Sports

What part of a football field is never the same?

The changing rooms.

Current Events

Who isn't happy to get an Academy Award?

Oscar the grouch.

Puns

What insect runs away from everything?

A flee.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

Puns

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

Inventing fractions?Education

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8th.