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What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

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Animals

What's a lizard's favorite cookie?

A fig newt-on.

Current Events

What do they say when a basketball player loses his mind?

He has a case of March Madness.

Sports

What do a striker and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.

Food & Drinks

What is the most attractive fruit?

A fine-apple.

Current Events

What's a storm cloud's favorite Garth Brooks song?

When the Thunder Rolls.

Holiday

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts.

a fisherman wearing an orange jacket gives a thumbs-up to the camera while on a fishing boat in the harborEntertainment

What streaming service do fishermen watch?

Netflix.

Education

What happened to the Dean who lost his job?

He lost his ideanity.

Animals

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Rough Rough!

Sports

Why did the basketball player have so many good arguments?

He was the point guard.

Puns

Wanna hear my favorite potassium joke?

K.

Family

What do you call the grandmother on your speed dial?

InstaGram.

Sports

Did you ever hear the joke about a boomerang?

I don't remember it, but it'll come back to me.

Outdoors

What flowers rarely depreciate in value?

Mari-golds.

Animals

What's a duck's favorite TV show?

The Feather Forecast.