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What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

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Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

Music

Why do hummingbirds hum instead of singing along to music?

Because they don't know the words yet.

Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

Puns

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

Family

What did the momma sea otter say to her ornery children?

You otter do what I say!

Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

Animals

What do you call octopus twins?

Itenticle.

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Sports

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter.

Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.