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What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

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Puns

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

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Music

Why do hummingbirds hum instead of singing along to music?

Because they don't know the words yet.

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Holiday

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?

Comet cleans sinks.

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Puns

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

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Animals

What did one firefly say to the other?

Got to glow now!

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Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

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People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Sports

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

He was the designated hitter.

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Family

What did the momma sea otter say to her ornery children?

You otter do what I say!

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Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

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Animals

What do you call octopus twins?

Itenticle.

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a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

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Sports

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter.

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Holiday

How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer Olive?

Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names".

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Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

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