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What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

Star Warts.

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Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Animals

What's a bee's favorite novel?

The Great Gats-bee.

Animals

Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.

Animals

Who does an octopus see when it's not feeling well?

Doc Ock.

a yak is photoshopped with sunglasses on a white backgroundPeople

Who is a cow's favorite celebrity?

Sandra Bull-ock.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

People

Which celebrity is always prepared for cereal?

Reese, with her spoon.

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

Animals

What animal should you never play hide and seek with?

A chameleon.

a man wearing priest robs and a large cross holds a book in front of a white backgroundPeople

Why does the priest love swiss cheese?

Because it's holy.

a close-up of someone circling Thursday the 18th with a red pen on a calendarProfessional

Why did the worker get fired from the calendar factory?

He took a day off.

Professional

The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

Education

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Political

Which part of a tree makes the biggest decisions?

The Judicial Branch.

Puns

To whom do fish go to borrow money?

The loan shark.

Puns

What did the Parisian say after cutting his grass?

Time to baguette.