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What do you get from an Alaskan cow?

Cold cream.

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Puns

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

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Holiday

What is a ghost's favorite bedtime story?

Little Boo Peep!

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Puns

What did the adding machine say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

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Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

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a view looking up through green trees in a forest with the sun shining throughOutdoors

Why are trees so good at interior design?

They know how to Spruce a place up.

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Outdoors

Which flower is easily embarrassed?

A rose.

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a child dressed up in a cardboard rocket ship costume stands next to a cardboard robotScience

Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?

Because they understand the gravity of the situation.

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Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

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Puns

What is dry on the outside, filled with water, and blows up buildings?

A fish tank.

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a green-striped panther chameleon sits on a branchAnimals

Why was the chameleon such a good cashier?

It knew how to quickly make change.

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Food & Drinks

Where do burgers like to dance?

At the meatball.

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Puns

What do you call a joke book for chickens?

A yolk book.

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Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

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Vehicles

Where did the boat go when it was sick?

The boat doc.

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Family

Who is the ultimate father of the sea?

A craw-dad.

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People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.

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