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What do you get from an Alaskan cow?

Cold cream.

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Puns

What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?

When I fall in love it will be for heifer.

Holiday

What is a ghost's favorite bedtime story?

Little Boo Peep!

Puns

What did the adding machine say to the cashier?

You can count on me.

Puns

Why do shoemakers go to heaven?

They have great souls.

a view looking up through green trees in a forest with the sun shining throughOutdoors

Why are trees so good at interior design?

They know how to Spruce a place up.

Outdoors

Which flower is easily embarrassed?

A rose.

a child dressed up in a cardboard rocket ship costume stands next to a cardboard robotScience

Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?

Because they understand the gravity of the situation.

Political

Why did the senator bring cookies to the congress session?

He heard they were working on treat-ies.

Puns

What is dry on the outside, filled with water, and blows up buildings?

A fish tank.

a green-striped panther chameleon sits on a branchAnimals

Why was the chameleon such a good cashier?

It knew how to quickly make change.

Food & Drinks

Where do burgers like to dance?

At the meatball.

Puns

What do you call a joke book for chickens?

A yolk book.

Professional

How do lawyers say goodbye?

We'll be suing ya!

Vehicles

Where did the boat go when it was sick?

The boat doc.

Family

Who is the ultimate father of the sea?

A craw-dad.

People

What do a tick and the Louvre have in common?

They are both Paris sites.