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What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?

Briefs.

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Professional

What did the dentist call the x-ray he took of your mouth?

A tooth pic.

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finger broke?Puns

I broke my finger!

I broke my finger last week! On the other hand, I'm okay!

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Animals

Why should you not pamper a cow?

You'll get spoiled milk.

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Outdoors

How do trees get access to the internet?

Easy, they just log in.

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Animals

Where does the stingray's husband hang out?

In his man-ta cave.

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Animals

Where do baby cats learn to swim?

The kitty pool.

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Puns

Where would you put an injured insect?

In an antbulance.

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Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

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Education

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Pointless.

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Science

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

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Professional

Why couldn't the firefighter save the burning funhouse?

It was all smoke and mirrors.

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Sports

What is the difference between baseball and law?

In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

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Puns

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi.

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Sports

Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them, a crossbar can't jump.

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Outdoors

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

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Puns

What has 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see?

Three blind mice.

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