Subscribe for more jokes!

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?

Squeal of fortune!

Looking for a specific joke?

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

a slice of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese on a wooden cutting board surrounded by basil and tomatoesPeople

Which celebrity is a cheese expert?

Ray Romano.

Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

Professional

The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

Science

Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

a child dressed up in a cardboard rocket ship costume stands next to a cardboard robotScience

Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?

Because they understand the gravity of the situation.

The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

a mountain lion stands perched on the top of a rock in a snowy mountainous forest Animals

How did the mountain lion finally lose weight?

He quit cold turkey.

Puns

What did the eggs say to the toast after a long day?

We're fried.

Science

Why was the math book sad?

It had a lot of problems.

Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!

Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

Puns

How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.