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What do you call the sound made by a new lottery winner?

Squeal of fortune!

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Holiday

What Easter candy has tons of friends?

Peeps!

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a slice of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese on a wooden cutting board surrounded by basil and tomatoesPeople

Which celebrity is a cheese expert?

Ray Romano.

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Animals

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs.

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Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

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Professional

The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

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People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

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Science

Why did the astronaut's restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

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Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

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a child dressed up in a cardboard rocket ship costume stands next to a cardboard robotScience

Why do rocket scientists take everything so seriously?

Because they understand the gravity of the situation.

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The Politician?Political

What's the difference between a politician and a snail?

One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.

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a mountain lion stands perched on the top of a rock in a snowy mountainous forest Animals

How did the mountain lion finally lose weight?

He quit cold turkey.

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Puns

What did the eggs say to the toast after a long day?

We're fried.

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Science

Why was the math book sad?

It had a lot of problems.

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Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!

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Animals

What animal makes the best lunches?

A peanut butter and jelly fish.

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Puns

How do you get a country girl to like you?

A tractor.

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