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What do you call the grandmother on your speed dial?
InstaGram.
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Puns
What do you do if you're afraid of elevators?
Take steps to avoid them.
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Science
Why was the math book sad?
It had a lot of problems.
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Holiday
Where do ghosts prefer to swim?
Lake Eerie.
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Puns
What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
Cold cream.
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Food & Drinks
Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?
They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.
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Entertainment
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
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Puns
What is the difference between fleas and dogs?
Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.
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Outdoors
Where does a camper keep his money?
In a river bank.
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Animals
Why did the elephant eat the candle?
For light refreshment.
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People
Which computer won the talent show?
A Dell.
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Animals
Why was the moose able to move the bus on his own?
He had huge mooscles.
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Animals
What do you call a golden retriever at the beach in July?
A hot dog.
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Sports
What tea do footballers drink?
Penaltea.
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Puns
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.
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Outdoors
Why was the bud so shy?
It just hadn't blossomed yet.
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Animals
What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
Slush puppies.
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