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What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

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Animals

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles!

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no body?Puns

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

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Puns

What is an insect's favorite game?

Cricket.

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Puns

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

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Sports

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea.

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Vehicles

What car is the perfect size for mice?

A minivan.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?

A golden receiver.

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Animals

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

So-fish-ticated.

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Animals

What does a lion call an antelope?

Fast food.

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Animals

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?

Take away its credit cards.

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Animals

What kind of egg did the evil chicken lay?

A deviled egg.

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Animals

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied.

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Food & Drinks

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill.

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Professional

What goes by slower than a plot-less movie?

Friday afternoon.

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crowded graveyard?Holiday

It's Crowded!

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.

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Puns

How do fireflies start a race?

Ready, steady, glow.

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