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What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant!

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Animals

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?

When it's raining cats and dogs.

Outdoors

Why are playgrounds so good at dancing?

Because they got that swing!

Education

Which letter is the sleepiest in the alphabet?

E, because it's always in bed.

Entertainment

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie DOH!

Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

Sports

What do a striker and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks.

a woman in a yellow jacket makes a grimace while she plugs her earsAnimals

What animal always gets on everyone's nerves?

A badger.

Animals

What kind of store would a dog own?

A licker store.

Puns

Why do vampires always look sick?

They keep coffin.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers.

Outdoors

How do trees get access to the internet?

Easy, they just log in.

Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!

Vehicles

Which big cat loves to drive?

A jaguar.

Puns

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

Animals

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals.