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What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Animals
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill!
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Animals
What animal is best at avoiding a punch?
A duck.
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Puns
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
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Food & Drinks
What do you call a sad strawberry shake?
A blueberry shake.
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People
Why can't bikes stand up on their own?
They're just two-tired.
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Entertainment
What do you call a nearsighted cowboy?
Squint Eastwood.
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Vehicles
What car can you only see twice a year?
A Chevy Equinox.
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Animals
Why do rodents make the best runners?
Because life's a rat race.
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Animals
How do you get out of an elephant's stomach?
You run around and around until you're all pooped out.
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Outdoors
Why was the bud so shy?
It just hadn't blossomed yet.
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Education
Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?
Because it had to go to sum-mer school.
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Puns
What did the outlet say to the power cord on their date?
Sorry, I just don't feel a spark.
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Outdoors
What do trees wear to the lake?
Swimming trunks.
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Animals
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message.
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Food & Drinks
What's the worst kind of bread for sandwiches?
Meatloaf.
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Puns
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Lumpy milkshakes.
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