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What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?

Rebel Wilson.

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Puns

What did the rug say to the floor?

I've got you covered.

Animals

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?

He had his own frog horn.

Vehicles

What kind of car does a chicken have?

A coop.

Puns

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?

Plenty of milk.

a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

Holiday

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

a close-up of Arnold Schwarzenegger's star from the Hollywood Walk of FameVehicles

What kind of car does Arnold Schwarzenegger drive?

A muscle car.

Animals

How long do chickens work?

Around the cluck.

People

Why can't bikes stand up on their own?

They're just two-tired.

Sports

What do a baseball team and a baker have in common?

They need a good batter!

Food & Drinks

What's a horse's favorite fruit?

Straw-berries.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?

A groundhog.

Puns

How do mice celebrate when they move home?

Mouse warming party.

People

Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of the garden?

Because they didn't read the Apple terms and conditions.

Entertainment

Why did the mirror cross the road?

To see itself!

a nervous-looking man wears a red cape and holds his goggles on top of his headEntertainment

Which superhero is afraid of exterminators?

Ant-man.