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What do you call a singing rodent?
Justin Beaver!
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People
What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?
Retired.
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Family
What's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Daughter: "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" Mom: "I don't know ask your grandmother."
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Puns
What kind of books do boats write?
Ferry tales.
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Puns
What part of your eye learns the quickest?
The pupil.
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Puns
What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
We have to stick together.
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Sports
What do a striker and a magician have in common?
Both do hat tricks.
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Education
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
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People
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missiletoe.
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Sports
Where do old bowling balls end up?
In the gutter.
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Entertainment
What do you call a musical about a boy who loses his shoe?
Cinderfella.
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Animals
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
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Animals
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
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Puns
What do you call the wife of a hippie?
A Mississippi.
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Animals
What's black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door.
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Puns
Why is oxygen so wealthy?
Because it's an air-ess.
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Holiday
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel said, "No L!"
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