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What do you call a singing rodent?

Justin Beaver!

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People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

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greatest daughter?Family

What's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?

Daughter: "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" Mom: "I don't know ask your grandmother."

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Puns

What kind of books do boats write?

Ferry tales.

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Puns

What part of your eye learns the quickest?

The pupil.

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Puns

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?

We have to stick together.

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Sports

What do a striker and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks.

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Education

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word!

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People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

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Sports

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter.

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Entertainment

What do you call a musical about a boy who loses his shoe?

Cinderfella.

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Animals

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles!

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Animals

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

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Puns

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi.

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The Penguins?Animals

What's black and white and goes around and around?

A penguin in a revolving door.

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Puns

Why is oxygen so wealthy?

Because it's an air-ess.

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Holiday

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel said, "No L!"

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