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What do you call a pig's sore eye?

A pig-stye.

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People

Which celebrity shines the brightest?

Emma Watt-son.

Puns

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

It was outstanding in its field.

Puns

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito.

Food & Drinks

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Dill with it.

Vehicles

What do donkeys take to go to the store?

A horse and buggy.

Puns

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

Food & Drinks

Why does the orange always lose in races?

It runs out of juice.

Animals

Why did the chicken cross the net?

It wanted to get to the other site.

Puns

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

Education

What do librarians use as bait when they go fishing?

Book worms.

Puns

Why do people love getting letters from astronauts?

They have the best space stationery.

Animals

What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

Vehicles

Why did the train always get heated in an argument?

It was a steam engine.

Cat's breakfast?Animals

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

a woman is signing an autograph while photographers are taking her picturePeople

Who is the nicest celebrity around?

Tom Thanks.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?

A golden receiver.