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What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon.

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People

What do they call pastors in Germany?

German Shepherds.

Vehicles

Which big cat loves to drive?

A jaguar.

Entertainment

What's E.T. short for?

Because he has tiny legs.

Puns

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at an Apple Store?

The iWitness.

The rabbit?Animals

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

Animals

What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

None. It just lets out a little wine.

Puns

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

Outdoors

Which tree can't stop crying?

A weeping willow.

Professional

What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?

Briefs.

Animals

How do you spot a modern spider?

He has a website.

Food & Drinks

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite?

He picked 7 up instead.

a green-striped panther chameleon sits on a branchAnimals

Why was the chameleon such a good cashier?

It knew how to quickly make change.

Animals

What do you call a dog that meditates?

Aware wolf.

Current Events

Why was the spring storm in a great mood?

It was on cloud nine!

a lone pair of horns against a white backgroundFamily

Which family member has tusks?

An eleph-aunt.