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What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?

A dingo-ling.

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Puns

Why shouldn't you trust stairs?

They are always up to something.

Education

Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.

Family

Who is the ultimate father of the sea?

A craw-dad.

a mouse sits at a miniature table with a miniature knife and fruitAnimals

What do mice bring on a picnic?

Ratatouille!

Education

How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.

Sports

What is a cat's favorite part of baseball?

The seventh-inning stretch.

Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Puns

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weak-days.

Animals

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?

All sorts of antics.

People

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?

Retired.

Science

What math figure is also in the band?

A symbol.

Professional

The museum curator needed a break.

So she took her van to gogh out of here!

Education

What flies around the kindergarten room at night?

An alpha-bat.

Puns

What's the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning.

a bunch of clams sits together against a white backgroundAnimals

Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?

Because they're as happy as a clam.

Animals

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

"Let us prey."