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What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

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Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

Food & Drinks

What did the pear say to the celery stick?

Quit stalking me.

Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

Entertainment

What cartoon character loves insects?

Bugs Bunny.

Animals

What do frogs drink in the winter?

Hot croako.

People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

twin babies wearing white onesies lay next to each other with arms intertwined while cryingFamily

What siblings are always sad?

The Blues Brothers.

Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

Melon married?Food & Drinks

Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak.

Puns

If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?

Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.

Animals

What is another name for a cow?

A lawn-mooer.

a woman in a library sits gesturing to a laptop in front of a large notepad filled with math equationsEducation

Where do math enthusiasts go on vacation?

The Great Planes.