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What do you call a noodle in disguise?

Impasta.

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Puns

What do you call a Russian flea?

A Moscow-ito.

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People

Why can't the lifeguards save the hippies?

Because they're too far out.

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Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

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Entertainment

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

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Food & Drinks

What did the pear say to the celery stick?

Quit stalking me.

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Puns

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa baas.

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Entertainment

What cartoon character loves insects?

Bugs Bunny.

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Animals

What do frogs drink in the winter?

Hot croako.

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People

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missiletoe.

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twin babies wearing white onesies lay next to each other with arms intertwined while cryingFamily

What siblings are always sad?

The Blues Brothers.

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Animals

Where would you find an elephant?

The same place you lost it.

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Melon married?Food & Drinks

Why didn't the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

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Animals

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak.

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Puns

If you had to vote which one is faster, would you choose hot or cold?

Hot! Because you can definitely catch a cold.

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Animals

What is another name for a cow?

A lawn-mooer.

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a woman in a library sits gesturing to a laptop in front of a large notepad filled with math equationsEducation

Where do math enthusiasts go on vacation?

The Great Planes.

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