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What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

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Professional

How do artists finish a project when they are stressed?

They just take things one stroke at a time.

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Holiday

What did the baker say about the bread it made on Easter?

It has risen indeed!

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Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

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Travel

Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?

The Wrong Brothers.

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Puns

What kind of clothes does a house wear?

An address.

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Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

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Animals

What day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

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Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

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Entertainment

Why does Humpty Dumpty enjoy camping in autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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Vehicles

Which big cat loves to drive?

A jaguar.

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Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

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a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.

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a large orange tiger runs through powdery snowAnimals

Why couldn't the tiger run any faster in the race?

Because his opponent had him by the tail.

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Animals

What happens when a frog's car dies?

He has it toad.

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Education

Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.

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