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What do you call a monkey who's a whiz at technology?

A computer chimp.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

Professional

How do artists finish a project when they are stressed?

They just take things one stroke at a time.

Holiday

What did the baker say about the bread it made on Easter?

It has risen indeed!

Professional

You know there's no official training for trash collectors?

They just pick things up as they go along.

Travel

Who invented the first airplane that couldn't take off?

The Wrong Brothers.

Puns

What kind of clothes does a house wear?

An address.

Puns

What did the sneaky chick say when it came out of the egg?

Time to hatch a plan!

Animals

What day of the week do chickens hide?

Fry-day.

Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

Entertainment

Why does Humpty Dumpty enjoy camping in autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Vehicles

Which big cat loves to drive?

A jaguar.

Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

a pair of orange swim trunks against a light blue backgroundPuns

Why did the man bring his swim trunks to the bar?

He heard they had a pool table.

a large orange tiger runs through powdery snowAnimals

Why couldn't the tiger run any faster in the race?

Because his opponent had him by the tail.

Animals

What happens when a frog's car dies?

He has it toad.

Education

Why was the grandma always getting A's on her papers?

She had a knack for gram-mer.