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What do you call a long line of people waiting for their hotdog?

A barbequeue.

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Animals

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?

Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a dog with a telephone?

A golden receiver.

Animals

What do you call a famous turtle?

A shellebrity.

Professional

Why was the mime upset?

Someone called her a clown.

Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

priest lawyer?Family

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

A Father-In-Law!

a man dressed in 1970s fashion is dancing in front of a psychedelic orange backgroundPuns

Why were dancers in the '70s always sick?

They all had boogie fever!

Food & Drinks

What's the worst kind of bread for sandwiches?

Meatloaf.

Animals

When should you stop for a glow worm?

When he has a red light.

Puns

Everyone says that mushroom is such a fungi, so why didn't they have the party at his house?

Because he didn't have mushroom there.

Puns

What did the whale say to the dolphin when he pushed him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Puns

What sound does a witch's car make?

Broom broom!

Holiday

Why was Santa's little helper embarrassed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

Puns

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?

Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.

Science

Why are bakers so good at math?

They love Pi!