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What do you call a joke book for chickens?

A yolk book.

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Puns

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

A Mississippi.

Travel

Why did the wind want to go on vacation?

It had been busy with blustery days.

Puns

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Animals

Why did the frog have a long face?

He was un-hoppy.

Sports

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea.

Holiday

What does winter fat turn into?

Spring rolls.

Outdoors

Why is sand so optimistic?

It has a can-dune attitude.

a woman standing in front of an A/C unit has frost in her hairCurrent Events

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

Well, they've been running all day!

Puns

Why are boats so bad at asking for forgiveness?

They harbor resentment.

Holiday

Why is April the cleanest month of all?

Spring cleaning!

Animals

What did the seal say when he saw his friend jump in the ocean?

I otter do that!

Food & Drinks

How do eggs end a TV show?

That's all, yolks!

a spotted pig swims in tropical clear blue waterAnimals

What do pigs do over the summer?

They go on a ham-ily vacation.

Animals

What bird helps you stay dry?

A t-owl.

Puns

Where do colds go on vacation?

Germ-any.

Animals

What animal scores the most in basketball?

A dunk-ey.