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What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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Outdoors

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good, good thymes.

Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

Vehicles

Where did the boat go when it was sick?

The boat doc.

Puns

What is an insect's favorite game?

Cricket.

Professional

Did you take the patient's temperature?

No. Is it missing?

Animals

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

Holiday

What is a ghost's favorite bedtime story?

Little Boo Peep!

a boxer hits a punching bagPuns

Why did the boxer take so many naps?

He was constantly hitting the sack.

Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

People

What did Snow White say while waiting in line for her photos?

Some day my prints will come.

a black and white bull photoshopped in a china shopPuns

Why was the bull kicked out of the store?

It was a china shop.

The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!