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What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

A beer-a-cuda.

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Outdoors

I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.

Good, good thymes.

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Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

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Balanced Checked?Puns

She Needed Her Balance Checked!

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over!

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Vehicles

Where did the boat go when it was sick?

The boat doc.

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Puns

What is an insect's favorite game?

Cricket.

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Professional

Did you take the patient's temperature?

No. Is it missing?

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Animals

Why are frogs always happy?

They eat what bugs them.

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Holiday

What is a ghost's favorite bedtime story?

Little Boo Peep!

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a boxer hits a punching bagPuns

Why did the boxer take so many naps?

He was constantly hitting the sack.

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Travel

What are rental cars called in Spain?

Barceloaners.

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Animals

What kind of dog loves to eat?

A Chow.

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People

What did Snow White say while waiting in line for her photos?

Some day my prints will come.

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a black and white bull photoshopped in a china shopPuns

Why was the bull kicked out of the store?

It was a china shop.

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The Umpire?Sports

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

One steals watches and one watches steals.

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Animals

How do you care for a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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Santa & soccer?Holiday

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?

COOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!

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