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What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Puns

What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment.

Animals

Why do bees buzz?

Because they can't whistle.

Puns

What happened to the glow worm who was squashed?

He was de-lighted.

People

What happened when the guy walked into the bar?

He was disqualified from the limbo contest.

Animals

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

An alarm cluck.

Current Events

What's a direction's favorite holiday?

East-er.

Darth Vader?Entertainment

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

People

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Food & Drinks

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

Sports

How does cardboard get its workout in?

Boxing.

Family

What branch of the military accepts newborns?

The infantry.

Vehicles

What's always messy no matter how many times you clean it?

A dirt bike.

Food & Drinks

What do chefs do in their spare time?

They go chopping.

Puns

What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar.

Vehicles

What has ten letters and starts with G-A-S?

Automobile.

Puns

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Snowballs.