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What do teachers do during summer break?

Sleep.

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Animals

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?

Because he was newt to the area.

Holiday

Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

They are very scent-imental.

Food & Drinks

Did you hear about the famous pickle?

He was a big dill.

Animals

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

Puns

How did the mermaid call her friends?

On her shell phone, of course.

Holiday

What did Santa bring to the potluck?

Slaw la la la laaa, la la la laaaaaa.

Holiday

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about the United States?

Because freedom rings.

Family

Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.

People

What do you call an animal pop star?

Justin Beaver.

Puns

What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

Animals

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken.

Professional

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Puns

Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?

It was gathering dust.

Holiday

What's a doctor's favorite Olympic sport?

Skeleton.

Puns

What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?

Sorry, I'm just not a big fan.

a gray horse has several balloons tied around its neckAnimals

Why was the horse so bad at dressage?

He was a one-trick pony.