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What do painters do when they make a mistake?

They go back to the drawing board.

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a close-up of a man wearing glasses smiling at the cameraEntertainment

Why couldn't a guy with glasses feel the force?

He didn't have jed-eyes.

a rock on the beach is covered with black musselsPuns

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

To the prawn broker.


How did Barack ask Michelle to be his wife?

He bought a ring, got on one knee, and said "Will you marry me? I don't wanna be Obamaself."


What type of school requires you to drop out to graduate?

Sky diving school.


Why is oxygen so wealthy?

Because it's an air-ess.

two children wearing backpacks are writing equations on a chalkboardEducation

Why was the mean not looking forward to the end of the school year?

Because it had to go to sum-mer school.

Current Events

Why do potted plants shower so much in April?

Because April showers bring May flowers.


What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

"Let us prey."


Why are goats so funny?

They're always kidding around.


What's a pirate's favorite letter?

You may think it's R, but it's really the C that they love.


Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.

Mood Ring?Puns

Someone stole my mood ring!

I don't know how I feel about it!


What kind of car do eggs drive?

A Yolkswagen.

a kitten is leaning back in a sitting position with a surprised expressionPuns

What do cats use to take notes in meetings?

A scratch pad.

Food & Drinks

Why are pigs so good at building houses?

They bring plenty of ham-mers.


Why were the atoms always hungry?

Their food is microscopic!