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What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

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Family

What did the baby horse say when his mom asked if he was hungry?

No, I'm foal!

Puns

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

Outdoors

What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

Family

Who loves the lake but refuses to get wet?

A dad on a fishing trip.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Puns

Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?

Because they'd crack each other up.

Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

a close-up of a large brown bat hanging upside downSports

What type of bat doesn't fly?

A baseball bat.

Education

What's the astronauts favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

Inventing fractions?Education

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8th.

Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

Leg Broke?Entertainment

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

Animals

What does a panda ghost say?

Bam-boo.

Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.