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What do my dog and my cellphone have in common?

They both have collar I.D.

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Family

What did the baby horse say when his mom asked if he was hungry?

No, I'm foal!

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Puns

What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion?

Take me to your weeder.

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Outdoors

What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

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Family

Who loves the lake but refuses to get wet?

A dad on a fishing trip.

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Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

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Puns

Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?

Because they'd crack each other up.

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Food & Drinks

What loaf of bread has a bad attitude?

Sourdough.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because she couldn't find a date.

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a close-up of a large brown bat hanging upside downSports

What type of bat doesn't fly?

A baseball bat.

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Education

What's the astronauts favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

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Inventing fractions?Education

Who invented fractions?

Henry the 1/8th.

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Animals

What does a cat go to sleep on?

A caterpillow.

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Leg Broke?Entertainment

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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Animals

What does a panda ghost say?

Bam-boo.

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Puns

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak.

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Holiday

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

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