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What do donkeys take to go to the store?

A horse and buggy.

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no body?Puns

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows!

Puns

What shape has a knighthood?

Cir-cle.

Puns

Do you have the best ceiling?

No, but it's up there.

Animals

What do you call a sheep with no legs or head?

A cloud.

Outdoors

Why are playgrounds so good at dancing?

Because they got that swing!

Puns

Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?

They're a total rip-off.

Sports

What dish does only a baseball player use?

The home plate.

Professional

My boss instructed me to set up the company's 401k.

I told her I don't think anyone on the team can run that far.

Outdoors

Did you hear about the one with the skunk on a camping trip?

Eh, never mind. It really stinks.

Travel

Why did the airplane get grounded?

It had a bad altitude.

Current Events

What's a worm's favorite holiday?

Earth Day.

Puns

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?

Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs.

Political

Which office space loves to cut corners?

The Oval Office.

Animals

What do you call bears with no ears?

B—.

Music

What's a balloon's least favorite type of music?

Pop.

Holiday

What does winter fat turn into?

Spring rolls.