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What do chefs do in their spare time?

They go chopping.

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Animals

How does a polar bear build a house?

Igloos it together.

Science

Why do math teachers love March?

Because of pi day!

Current Events

You have to be very careful in an ice storm.

It's sNOw joke.

Outdoors

Why couldn't the boxer make it in stand-up comedy?

He didn't have the right hook.

Food & Drinks

What state is famous for tiny soft drinks?

Minnesota.

Puns

What is a duck's favorite dance?

The quackstep.

Puns

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse.

Puns

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Family

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

She sent her a pee-mail.

Holiday

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Mummy's Day.

Animals

Why did the man name his canines Rolex and Timex?

They were his watch dogs.

Animals

What do you call it when a hen spots some lettuce?

Chicken sees-a salad.

Entertainment

Where did Captain Hook purchase his hook?

At the local second-hand store.

Professional

Why do rabbits make good jewelers?

They can tell the best carrot.

People

Which celebrity has the best handwriting?

Sean Pen.

Travel

Why did the wind want to go on vacation?

It had been busy with blustery days.