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What do birds serve on Halloween?

Tweets.

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Puns

What do you do if you're afraid of elevators?

Take steps to avoid them.

Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

Puns

What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?

People

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

The Exterminator.

Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

a Scottish wildcat is crawling on a tree log in a forestAnimals

Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?

It always had the best lynx.

Animals

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.

Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

Food & Drinks

How does a taco bless the table?

"Lettuce pray."

Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!