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What do birds serve on Halloween?

Tweets.

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Puns

What do you do if you're afraid of elevators?

Take steps to avoid them.

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Animals

What animal loves to sway side-to-side?

A lean-mur.

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Professional

What kind of money do fishermen make?

Net profits.

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Puns

What did the worm say to the other when he was home late?

Where in earth have you been?

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People

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

The Exterminator.

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Puns

Why didn't the lamp sink in the water?

Because it was too light.

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Animals

Why could no one recognize the sheep?

He had a goatee.

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Puns

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

He pulled a mussel.

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a Scottish wildcat is crawling on a tree log in a forestAnimals

Why did the wildcat have such a successful email newsletter?

It always had the best lynx.

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Animals

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish.

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Puns

What's a henway?

About ten pounds.

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Holiday

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it "soots" him.

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Puns

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?

There's nobel... that's why I knocked.

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Food & Drinks

Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?

Because they put on the salsa.

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Food & Drinks

How does a taco bless the table?

"Lettuce pray."

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Food & Drinks

How does one gelatin greet another?

Jello!

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